The Adoption Journey

Kids are expensive. We all know that. Before they’re 18 we’ll dump $250,000 on them. So, when the summer of 2007 rolled around and Karen, my wife, was convinced that God was calling us to adopt from Ethiopia, I was a tad reticent. Although I was fully open to adopting, and fully open to Ethiopia, I was struggling with how to pay for such an adoption.

I was hung up on the sizable “down payment” represented by the adoption costs: $25,000 to $30,000. And to be honest, I was also concerned about where we might put another child. We ran out of available bedrooms when Reagan was born. We’d talked for years about adding on to our house to create a play room for the kids and an office for us (currently our desk and computer reside in a closet). Adding another child to our family would only amplify the need for more space, but the expense of the adoption would make the possibility of ever being able to afford such an add-on extremely remote. We live in California so living space is a prized commodity—you always need more but can never afford it.

Like Karen, I sensed a calling to adopt an orphan in need of a family. But I was having a difficult time seeing past these practical challenges.

I began praying in earnest about this situation. I wanted God to make it abundantly clear (like by putting it in writing) that He was in this and that He would provide for our family.  As much as I prayed and listened, I never heard the clear answer I was seeking.

One Sunday, our pastor preached a sermon on asking God for big things, because He’s in the business of performing miracles. At the conclusion of the sermon, we were all invited to come forward to pray with a pastor or elder to ask God for something big. Karen and I looked at each other and knew we needed to go forward. We approached a pastor friend of ours and, through tears, I told him, “We want to adopt a child, but we don’t know how to pay for it.” And we made a big request of God.

Around this same time, I happened to be reading John Ortberg’s book If You Want to Walk on Water, You’ve Got to Get Out of the Boat, a book about taking risks and living by faith. There were a number of places in the book where I could hear God speaking to me, but none as clearly as when Ortberg asks, “Is there any challenge in your life right now that is large enough that you have no hope of doing it apart from God’s help? If not, consider the possibility that you are seriously underchallenged.” Whoa. I was convicted.

It became clear to me that God wanted me to step out in faith. He wasn’t going to provide the handwritten assurance I was seeking. He was going to use this experience to grow my faith. Besides, I was confident that God had burdened our hearts for orphans—He’s quite clear in Scripture about His desire for us to care for them. Was it reasonable for me to think that God wasn’t “in this”? That He wouldn’t provide for us and this child?

So, in September 2007, we filed our application to adopt a child from Ethiopia. We (primarily Karen) spent October and November filling out mountains of paperwork and fulfilling all sorts of requirements for our home study and international adoption dossier. By early December we were finished and were simply waiting on things to be processed. By early January, we were officially on the waiting list to be matched with a child.

We requested a boy, 0-9 months old. Factoring in the 2-3 months that typically elapsed between receiving a referral and actually picking up the child, this would mean our child would be no older than one year when we first met him. 

In March 2008, we received our referral, a little boy who was only one month old. Karen and I were absolutely floored by the way God had answered every prayer and request of ours. We brought him home on August 1, 2008. Needless to say, our family is forever changed in the most beautiful way.

Oh, and that whole question of stepping out in faith and wondering whether God would provide for us in dealing with the large financial “down payment”? He proved Himself more than faithful—as if He needed to prove anything. While we ended up spending over $35,000 on the adoption, He surprised us by providing over $20,000 in support from friends and family.

If I had known that was coming on the front end, my decision would have been easy. But, I have since realized that I needed to know Who was providing that money and I needed to learn an important lesson about stepping out in faith.